The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
