Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
