I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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