Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
