I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
