Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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