Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i permit you to call me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
