Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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