Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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