Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
