I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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