Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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