just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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