I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
