I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
