so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
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