Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
