i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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