ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
