It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
