i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
