i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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