Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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