so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
