He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
