Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
porn star boner night. come get it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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