There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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