I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
