I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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