my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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