I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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