1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
