Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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