So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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