Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
