how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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