She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
