You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this beer tastes like vomit already
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
