I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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