So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
