i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
