the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
