You're completely useless in the revolution.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
