I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
