Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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