i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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