hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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