You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I love having hate sex.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize