We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
