There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
