I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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